Sunday, March 4, 2012

prologue

When you’re in drugs, nothing is real nothing is certain as a drug addicted you know that as one I know that. Your life lies somewhere between blurred oblivion and dizzy reverie. In the 1st time you do drugs you’re happy funny and careless. Chronic junkies are miserable boring self centered and restless… zombies. So why do we do drugs? Speaking of myself I’m a realistic by nature my brains is killing me so I’m just returning the favor. Oh yeaaaaah. I’m in the car right now next to a fancy restaurant where my girlfriend is waiting and it’s the big day. Right after this cocaine pump. Helllllllllll yeah. Where were we? Right… in the car with a diamond ring in my jacket and a dream I want it to come true. I’m gonna go in there and propose to her. Sarah My baby Sarah  She’s everything a man wish for. pretty smart thoughtful and above all… she loves me for all the things that makes me the jerk who I am. Cocaine is talking or as I prefere to believe I insulated my brain letting my feelings navigates me. It takes lots of courage to take such a step. Proposal Which I lack or maybe I don’t have any… courage. That’s why cocaine is so important in my life you shouldn’t trust that but I do somehow it always worked with me. And I’m sure it will now.
Between reverie and oblivion cocaine does the talking for you you’re lost but you just keep walking where ever it takes you that’s just your destination. It’s always a bad ass story just like mine… just like ours.
In the restaurant I took my steps heavy and filled with indecision toward Sarah. There she was sparkling as always if she wasn’t a doctor she would be a super model. From head to toes I scanned her with my eyes my stoned eyes. Man she’s a mermaid a nymph no she’s a goddess only if those entities exists. And I’m just… Max.
Hey baby
Hey… as we kissed I smelled her scent that drove me even more stoned
I missed you so much..How are you?
Hmmm good. I missed you too
How was your day?
Not bad. Well actually horrendous… it was
Oh… why what happened?
I lost a patient
Oh my… I’m sorry
….
It’s not the 1st time is it???
Yeah… What ever
You did everything you could?
Aha
So why are you upset?
I’m not. I wasn’t… when we told her parents. Her mother fell on the ground. And she died too
Oh my god
That’s what happened
This is just crazy

I hate my job now
We all do. Don’t we…
Good evening Sir. Mess
Good evening
What would it be? Tonight we ha… just get me a bottle of whiskey
And You? Sir
Ah… hmmmm we will just stick to the whiskey. Thank you
This would make my task only harder or just easy… the night was young and I had it all planned. Now it’s dead. Just like her patient and her mood. I know when she orders whiskey she gets edgy and I better just avoid her. However it worth a shot… I’ll do it either way. I just can’t wait any more.
Sarah
Yes hon
Weeeee….ve been together for over a year now and I’ve come to realize…
That’s you’re so important to me and without you… cocaine isn’t talking…
Without you…  without you… I am just……..
What? Max
I’m deeply in love with you and… and… I told myself cut the crap Max break it for her…
I took her hand in mine… posted a kiss on it. And I reached to the ring in my pocket
Sarah… wou…
Her cell phone rang. Damn. It was a bad ass story just like many of our nights together. The hospital calls her for an emergency.
Aha… okay… I’m on my way.
You have to go?
I have to go

Sorry.. I’m really sorry
Don’t be… it’s your duty. Right
I’m glad you understand

So… you were saying???
Saved by the waiter … the whiskey sir
Thank you
Can I get you anything else?
The check please.
You’re leaving this early?

Just get us the check Mr … I’m really sorry Max
I ruined it as usual. I’ll make it up for you… I promise… love you. She kissed me good bye and fled.
Right then I had a moment of clarity
We’ve been together for over a year now and I’ve come to realize that mermaids nymphs goddesses doesn’t exist Which made me reconsider the whole marriage proposal thing For the better good for both of us Specially me.

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